Clouds

It is a matter of perspective is it not?

We go through life trying to find what fits what best. Car interiors to the color, bedsheets to the drapes, shoes with the outfit. I've even seen people fret over what notebook suits their personality. Its the terms of conduct in today's constant scrutiny environment. Irony remains in the fact that it is mostly us who are judging ourselves more than others do. I find it fascinating how you'd rather crucify yourself in your eyes before you let anyone else do it. The japanese concept of "Harakiri" is similar in psychology but oh! oh that was about honor. This is about self preservation.

It must have started from the first human meeting fire. Good wholesome warmth from a distance, but like moths to a flame we must have drawn near to find out what happens when you get too close.
Unlike moths we survived that experience to remember better. Or in certain cases learnt from watching others fuck up. Its been eons since then and that survival instinct has developed into a cancer. We try to protect ourselves not from such mortal things like people laughing at us, being underestimated. We talk lower, dance only when drunk, barely look up the sky without a camera in our hands. It is fear, it has become primal now. I envy people who live oblivious to such things because for me these are my walk buddies. These fears have crippled my soul.

Alan Watts deeply implies the importance of noticing the way the world works. Clouds he says, made of flesh. Things just happen all around us don't they, they just happen. The sky just happens to look blue and twice a day its orange, there's no color theory there, its just how it is. It is my feeling that we as humans have not evolved at all, on a primal level. Bright days still incite the same feelings they did eons ago. The sound of rain still puts our heart to rest. So to conclude this, we are a part of this cog where "things just happen". We should too. Just happen. Unashamed, fearless.

Anxiety robs us of that bracket of risk taking that we are born with. With anxiety and depression , its really hard to be yourself, not as a definitive statement to give to the society and our invisible audience, but to just happen. That is the goal though, to realise that we are not crippled, nor incomplete, its just the way we are and for that to be enough.

Luckily we have the night skies, always there, always to remind us that they remain unchanged since the day you were born and still as beautiful. Luckily we also have music